i hate when you accidentally spit while arguing because that means the argument’s over and guess who didnt win
What do you call a man who is short, speaks in rhymes, and is able to spin straw into gold?
No really I’m not joking here, he’s coming for my firstborn in three days and I need to figure out his name.
How do people do backflips and shit? like i can’t even flip my grilled cheese without fucking up
the fact that there are animals who can see colors that i cant which means that there are colors that exist that it is literally impossible for me to envision is such fucking bullshit that i wanna rip open a couch and eat it
what happens to nitrogen when the sun rises
it becomes daytrogen
I’m going to bed.
don’t let the bed bugs bitrogen
current mood: tamagotchi after it poops
if I ever commit a murder I’m blaming this post